Time for Haiku Friday!
When it comes to our children
But how do we know?
The decisions we make for our children can affect them for the rest of their lives. At times, this can feel like too much pressure, and you may doubt yourself and second guess. In the end I think the very fact that we want what is best for our children counts for something. Counts for a lot, actually. We're all going to make mistakes, and sometimes there is no right and wrong, sometimes there's just too much grey.
Right now I'm having an inner battle with myself over my daughter's education. Here's a little background, and please don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to brag.
Maya has always been extremely bright. She knew her alphabet and was speaking in complete sentances at around 18 months old, has been reading fluently since before kindergarten, soaks up information like a sponge. She has a photographic memory. She can read a whole chapter out of a book and then recite it back to you, word for word.
I never "pushed" her, but she always asked questions and just loved learning, so of course I went with it. Last year in Kindergarten, her teacher could not get over how bright she was. She got perfect scores on standardized tests, and was going to be in that schools gifted program starting in first grade. We moved to an area that has a much better school district, one of the best in our state. After she started first grade I asked to have her tested for this schools gifted program and she didn't make it. Her teacher was shocked, and so was I. I fought with the school over so many things already... I fought so that she would be allowed to check out chapter books from the library, instead of the easy readers they're suppose to get in first grade, for example.
Now I am running into a major issue... she is bored and losing interest in school altogether. I am going to speak with everyone I can, her guidance counselor, the head of the gifted program, etc. I've been in close with her teacher for some time now already.
I'm just so afraid... I would love for her to go to a private school, but I can't afford it. I feel like... she is being held back. Her potential stretches so much farther beyond what they will let her do in school, school is in essence holding her back. I work with her at home on things she wants to learn that they don't teach her in school this young, like Spanish.
I have toyed with the idea of homeschooling. I love the concept and I have so much respect for those brave parents who do homeschool. It scares me to death, though. I don't trust myself to be able to give her what she needs, I'm afraid of her missing out on the social aspect of school, I'm afraid she will miss her friends and she will feel she's missing out on "normal" life, I don't know. I don't really know any homeschoolers personally, so maybe that's why I'm afraid.
I have been looking into Agora Cyber Charter School and I have to admit, I love the sound of this. But still, the fear is there. It's a huge decision. I do work off and on as needed, and due to financial circumstances will most likely have to work a lot more, so then how would I go about doing this? There's so many issues, so many questions.
For now, I will continue to fight for the education she deserves, do my best to work with her at home, and see what happens. If the situation escalates I will have some major thinking to do, and one of the hardest decisions of my daughter's life to make.