Thursday Thirteen

For some reason I'm just not feeling inspired to write about anything else. I was going to make some witty remarks about American Idol, mainly about Garret's hair:



(DUDE, the 80's called... yeah yeah, you know how it goes...) but no, not tonight. Instead, I'm going to try out this Thursday Thirteen thing.

My list: 13 things that are coming up in my life that I am looking forward to.

1. Tomorrow I am getting a Flickr Pro account. Yay for more photos and albums!!

2. Sometime this weekend I am getting my hair done. The last time I got my hair done, I got it cut shorter in the back and longer in the front, dyed reddish, with blondish streaks in the front. I love doing new things with my hair!

3. This weekend I am getting a new sweater. It doesn't take much to make me happy, haha. It's a long one, with a hood... and I love it.

4. Maya is going to be in a science/art fair. For the science part, she is doing an experiment on whether or not music has an affect on our heartbeat. For art, she is going to make a sculpture.

5. Maya is going to be in a chess tournament! She takes chess classes now, and she is good.

6. I got invited to Ravelry which is an online knitting community, and I can't wait to check it out some more!

7. The weekend is ALMOST here! Yay.

8. Sometime soon, we are going to go downtown and to station square, and I can't wait to take tons of cool photos.

9. Hubby and I are goig to get a fancy schmancy hotel room. Once in a while it's nice to have some alone time!

10. I haven't been to Yoga class in a while, and hopefully this thursday I am going to go back. I love it. I go to The Yoga Loft. It's awesome.

11. I'm super excited that I am almost to number 13 because wow, coming up with 13 things is harder than I thought it woud be.

12. OH I know! Spring. Spring is just around the corner. I hope. I mean, it's almost March, in like a lion out like a lamb, right? I like to see the glass as half full.

13. Our income tax check comes tomorrow! Yay!!

Whew, that was tough. Next week I will try to be a little more creative!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who left me such wonderful and supportive comments on my Homeschooling post below! Also, Thanks everyone who shared with me what the daily zen meant to them. Very deep thoughts and great interpretations! I will try that again sometime!

Happy Pills

I take anti-depressants. There, I said it. Not that I'm ashamed, it's lost quite a bit of "stigma" over the years, thank goodness. I bring this up because, well, I guess I want to tell my story because I know so many out there can probably relate.

It started when I was a teenager. When I was first diagnosed, I thought it was cool. Look at me, I'm deep and I'm angsty. I had no problems whatsoever with taking the prozac every morning, my mother standing there watching closely, making sure I was actually taking the pills... and I was. And they worked.

But suddenly, I wasn't cool anymore... so, I stopped taking them. I sat around in my room all day, dressed in black of course, listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall or Nine Inch Nails and writing horrible "deep" poetry. I pondered society and their rules. It was society that was messed up, not me! These shrinks, these doctors... they want to turn everyone into robots! They want give everyone pills and make everyone happy! They want to "rearrange us 'till we're sane!"

It got worse when I was in college, because I went to an Art School, and I had to be depressed, because I had to be creative and deep... that was my mindset, anyway. Needless to say... I flunked out of Art School after one semester, because it does help if you actually show up to class instead of laying in bed all day thinking about how horible doctors are, how wrong society is, and how awesome it is to be emotional, deep, creative, you get the picture.

Everything changed when I became a mother. I grew up. Oh, I'd still like to think that on some level I am deep and creative, but now... I can get out of bed and do something with that ceativity. Now, I can be the mother that my little girl needs me to be. I love it. I was missing out on so much before, I was missing out on living my life...

Every day I happily gulp down my 40mg of Celexa, without my mother standing there with her hawk eyes... but with my little girl standing there with her big, blue, full of wonder and life eyes, wondering what fun activity I'll have planned for the day.